Things I want to see before dying

Okay, I’m not really dying, at least not for the foreseeable future. Well, we’re all dying, but it’s just a matter of…never mind, let me continue.

I was thinking of things I would like to see before the lights go out. I am not a world traveler, so interest in the Great Wall of China, Machu Picchu and the Eiffel Tower are more than satisfied by the Travel Channel and WXXI Public Television. My bucket list is kind of weird, but then again, I have never been known for taking the path most travelled.

The things I want to see before I croak are far less tangible.

1. I want to read about the majority of my high school classmates in the obituaries. Yeah, I know this is sick, but admit it, so would you.

2. I want to see a giraffe with a stiff/sore neck. Seeing a giraffe wince every time it looked over its shoulder or tired to reach that leaf just out of normal reach would be delightful. I know, I know, sick.

3. I want to see to the news headline where a pitbull owner is terribly mauled by his own dog and still bemoans the benefits of owning a dog that seems to be some sort of status symbol for stupid.

4. I also want to read the story where some idiot who was starving and mistreating his animals, collapses and becomes dog food. Yes, I know, still sick.

5. I would love to see the state Driving While Intoxicated Laws change from the current .08% blood alcohol level to .06%. This would really make the social drinker think.

6. I would like to see elected officials “Tell it like it is” without the fear of not being reelected. Unfortunately, we voters prefer smoke and mirrors to truth.

7. I would like to find out how long it takes for senators and congressmen/women, who are paid $175,000 per year, plus benefits, to become millionaires? Either they are good savers, or something else comes into play.

8. I would like to see all “junkets” paid for by participating elected officials. Bet they would do more online research and compile fewer free airline miles.

9. I would love to see the federal budget balanced. Unfortunately, at the current rate my great-great grandchildren will probably make the same wish.

10. I would like to meet the other people who went to K-Mart and scooped up all the “Christmas Angel Pig” lawn decor. By the way, the store cut the price in half the week after Wife Patti bought one. She complained, and now we have two Christmas Pigs adorning our yard.

P.S. The stores are all sold out!

11. I would like to live long enough to see the Republican hierarchy agree on something, anything.

12. I want to see the Wayne County Nursing Home go private and get it off the taxpayer’s backs.

13. I want to see the day when my kids call to complain about how their kids are not perfect and perhaps, just perhaps, how they do not have the formula for being the perfect parent.

14. I would like to see the whole Kardashian family file for bankruptcy and disappear from public view. Oh, and take Lindsay Lohan and her entire family along for the ride.

15. I would like to see sports and Hollywood stars have their salaries cut to what normal people earn.

16. Term limits, term limits, term limits.

17. Peace on earth, yada, yada, yada.

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