Glaad Is Not Glad About Guido

GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Discrimination) is not pleased with Barilla Pasta.

Guido Barilla, the head of his family pasta business that produces 1.7 million tons of food to 100 countries said, “I would never make a spot with a homosexual family. Family is a classic family where the woman has a fundamental role.”

He also said that while he supports gay marriage “but not adoption in gay families. As a father of multiple children, I believe it’s very hard to raise kids in a same-sex couple.”

And finally, he slapped them with a wet noodle saying that if gays did not like his traditional views, they could eat other pasta.

So now the GLAAD folks are having a hissy fit and organizing a stop eating Barilla campaign and demanding grocery stores pull Barilla products saying he is an example of an “Italian homophobe.” I didn’t think that was possible but what do I know.

This is on the heels (sorry) of their protest against the head of Chick-fil-A who had the audacity of defending traditional marriage between a man and a woman.

So Guido is tip toeing (sorry) around the issue now and says he is sorry if he offended anyone so please keep buying his pasta even if you’re gay or whatever.

I’m a little confused (you knew that already). When did traditional family values (husband and wife, male and female and kids with both parents at home) become offensive? And why are we catering to these fringe groups who promote alternative life styles?

Traditional values are good and right. We tolerate but don’t condone non-traditional views so why not just do your own thing and leave us alone? They want us to agree with them and support their behavior or else. The Chick-fil-A people stood up to the fringes and won with a huge increase in patronage. Guido should do the same and not be a wet noodle.

FRENCH CANADIANS SAY NO TO PASTA

While we are on the subject of pasta, the French Canadians in Quebec (the Office of Language that enforces French only to be used there) told the Italian restaurants they could not use the terms pasta, antipasti, carne, and calamari, as those are not French words. They must change the names to French names.

They also demanded that a British restaurant not use the term “fish and chips.”

After this became public, the bureaucrats were ridiculed with “pastagate” and ate their words (pasta) saying they displayed “an excess zeal.” I guess the P.C. police are in every country now.

“I GOT YOU A JOB”

A tattooed young man with pants hanging half off his ass, two gold front teeth, a gold chain around his neck, climbed out of a jacked-up gold Cadillac, and walked into the welfare office saying, “Hi. Ya know I just hate drawing welfare and just sittin’ around sucking off the government. I’d really rather have a job and be independent rather than gettin’ somethin’ for nothin’.”

The social worker behind the counter said, “Your timing is perfect. We just got a job from a wealthy old man who needs a driver. You will get to live at his mansion free and get free meals in addition to a generous salary with full benefits. You will have full use of his 2013 Mercedes and he will pay for all your clothes. You also get to accompany his beautiful daughter to Europe all expenses paid.”

The tattooed welfare guy was wide-eyed saying excitedly, “You bullshittin me?”

The social worker said, “Yea, well, you started it.”

“BEST OF CHUCK” BOOKLETS

Volume 14 is now available! If you enjoy these columns, you will love having them in booklet form and they are free (yes, non-Obama-government free stuff!). Just stop by my office at 644 East Main, Palmyra (Route 31 across from Kwikfil) and pick up some. Also pick up my “Slammer 20oz Glass Mug” (it’s outlawed as too big in NY City so you may wind up in the slammer) to slam down your favorite beverage.

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