Yes, it’s one of those columns. One where I say “Thanks” for all I am grateful for this year. I’ll start by thanking my brother for giving me the idea last week. Let’s begin:
(Please imagine music playing in the background, similar to when Jimmy Fallon writes his weekly Thank You notes on Late night)
Thank You Hallmark Channel -
Each year you dig up once famous actors and actresses and revive their careers with your Holiday movies. Sure, they might not be the blockbuster films that once made them famous, but there’s still something special about seeing Star Wars’ Princess Leia as an old washed-up mess. Even better, you come up with Movie titles that truly capture the Holiday Spirit while still letting everyone know that this is a major low point in the actors career. Kudos!
Thank You National Dog Show -
While you not only entertain me after the Macy’s Parade is over, you also make me thankful I have better things to do than to show off my prize winning dog on Thanksgiving. You know, important things…like watching the National Dog Show.
Thank You heavily overweight guy who takes 20 minutes to buy lottery tickets at the gas station every day -
Sure, everyone else is busy, but you take the time to hand select each one of the numbers on your Take 5 tickets to really ensure you have the best chance of winning. Granted, you’ve never “hit the big one” but I’m sure it’s coming soon, like that heart attack your Doctors’s been warning you about.
Thank You Internet
Your plethora of news, communication tools and adorable kitten videos never ceases to amaze. I can’t imagine my life without you. You are truly an inspiration and a giant waste of productivity all wrapped into one.
If you’re reading this column, you’re likely a family member of mine or someone looking to kill a few minutes. Either way, I thank you for that and as a special reward, here’s a link to one of those kitten videos. You’re Welcome.