All I want for Christmas is…

Just in case you were thinking of shopping for me this year, I figured I’d put together a short list of possible gift ideas to make it easy. People are busy these days, Far be it for anyone have to put actual thought into a gift, let’s all just ask each other what we want and be done with it.

Don’t ask me when I’m going to have another kid

See this is one of those great gifts that costs you nothing and is absolutely priceless to me. Now granted I may be to blame for producing such a damn adorable son in the first place, but when did one awesome kid stop being enough?

The constant pressure to continue cranking out kids is a problem many young couples face. It’s not enough you’re trying to establish your life, you should have 4 kids that make things even more difficult. I’ll tell you what, I’ll have another child when I know I can financially and emotionally support him the way I can Eric. Being a parent is a constant job, just ask my wife.

Put out a movie I actually want to go see

Maybe you’re one of those Hollywood big wigs and you just happen to be reading my column as you tend to do. Well then, you can do me a huge favor and make a movie that really makes me want to see it. Not on HBO a few months later, but right now. I’m not going to lie, it won’t be easy. My wife and I are content staying in and watching TV, so instead of worrying about breaking box-office numbers, think about making something better. Think more story, less vampires and breakdancing.

Be nice to someone else for no reason

It’s one of my favorite things and something you should do on a regular basis. But this is the holidays so why not kick it up a notch? Pickup someone’s lunch, bring them coffee, or even easier, just take the time listen. Sometimes the smallest gesture can reap the biggest rewards. That doesn’t mean you can expect to win the lottery next time you hold a door open, but you will probably feel a bit better. Maybe you could tell your favorite columnist you enjoy his rantings? Just an idea.

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